Along with fasting, prayer and almsgiving, Self-Examination is part of the Christian Lenten tradition. Jesus, being Jewish, could relate to that tradition as mirroring the Days of Awe between Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.
During the Days of Awe, Jews engage in introspection, reflection, and repentance. Jews hold that during this time, God judges everyone’s deeds of the past year and determines their fate for the coming year. Therefore, it’s a time for seeking forgiveness from both God and fellow human beings for any wrongdoings committed during the previous year.
I recall attending an Episcopal church where, on Ash Wednesday, each member of the congregation individually addresses each other member asking forgiveness for any wrong committed by that person. This ritual is like Forgiveness Vespers on Forgiveness Sunday in the Easter Orthodox tradition. This ritual typically takes place on the evening of Forgiveness Sunday, which is the Sunday before the beginning of Great Lent.
During Forgiveness Vespers, the congregation gathers for the evening service, which includes prayers, hymns, and readings from the Psalms and the Gospel. The key moment of the service occurs towards the end when the priest or bishop comes forward and asks forgiveness from the congregation, bowing down before each member. The congregation responds by offering forgiveness to the clergy and to one another. This act of mutual forgiveness symbolizes the beginning of the Lenten season and the emphasis on repentance, reconciliation, and spiritual renewal. The ritual is deeply rooted in the Orthodox understanding of Lent as a time of fasting, prayer, and repentance.
By asking for and granting forgiveness, Orthodox Christians seek to enter into the Lenten season with a clean heart and a reconciled relationship with God and one another. Should not ALL Christians be doing likewise? Our time on earth is short. What do we gain by maintaining grudges against other people beyond avoiding emotionally uncomfortable situations? Reconciling with those against whom we hold grudges can lead to profound spiritual benefits, fostering inner peace, forgiveness, healing, personal growth, and a deeper sense of connection with others and with God.
Reconciling with another person against whom you hold a grudge can be challenging but ultimately rewarding. Too many clergy speak more in platitudes than practicality. I try to be as helpful as I can in focusing more on solutions than idealism. So, here are some steps to begin the reconciliation process:
Remember, reconciliation is a two-way street. All parties need to be willing to engage in the process for it to be successful. It may not always be possible to fully reconcile with someone, but making the effort to address conflicts and heal relationships can bring a sense of closure and peace.